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Wednesday, July 07, 2021

And here we go...

Welcome back, kids.  

It's been a long, trippy journey thus far and here we are.  So far I have survived a transplant, COVID, and a presidential election.  Frankly, not sure there is so much for which to be thankful, I can hardly contain myself.  But still...there are a lot of things that seem completely out of sane and needing discussed and I am sad to admit, there aren't many people left with the audacity and spinal integrity to do so.  

Well...I'm back.

In this blog mess I plan to talk politics again, pop culture, state and local government, federal government, and yes...some will be offended and be forced to hide in their "safe place."  Which, apparently, is a thing now.  Safe place...what the hell has happened to us?

There is also a lot of good going on these days that isn't covered by the news and to be honest, the Internet and other blogs like this will be the only place you hear about it all.  Why?  Because media today is bought and sold to the highest bidder and the highest bidder is to whom the media pays the most attention.  But we can't really blame them, can we?  Gotta pay the bills just like everyone else, right?  I think that is how we have to consume the mainstream and even not-so-mainstream media.  We go into it knowing that the stories are often skewed from a perspective that the bills have to be paid.

I recall a time when I was on WKY when there was what most would consider to be a pretty significant news story, but we were told not to cover it because it happened to involve the family of a major advertiser.  So, yes.  It happens even in local talk radio (a long since extinct creature itself).

So, be prepared, kids.  I will give you some news and obviously slanted news with my creative thought processes to go along with the mess.  You get to decide how much is from my big mouth and how much is actually hard news.

Let's do this, shall we?

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Part 3: Up To Date

It was merely a week after my transplant that I was discharged from the hospital and sent home.  That week included exercise, pain management, meetings with doctors and pharmacists, and yes, a bit of anxiety.  At first, I thought that one week out from the transplant may have been a bit early because I was still exceedingly weak and required assistance to just walk around the room or to go to the restroom.  But, the doctors knew best and I was discharged with an arm full of medications, instructions, warnings, and even a good dose of encouragement.

Arriving home was surreal.  I had been gone for a month and while it was home, I saw it in a new light.  I saw home as a sanctuary; a place to heal and a place to get my head and my spirit right for what was to come.  The process of healing from a transplant can be pretty arduous and there are a multitude of things to remember.  Fortunately, there is actually a handbook that I can refer to upon occasion to refresh my marginally depleted memory.

The first day home, I got comfortable on the couch and then decided to try and make it to the bathroom.  I was issued a walker so I tried to use it to help me stand up but my legs were so weak that I just collapsed on the carpet like a rag doll.  I couldn't get up but somehow I found the humor in it and began laughing.  "Oh, how the mighty have fallen," is what I muttered under my breath, followed by a brief prayer, informing God that I "got it," that I see that humility was going to be my friend and humility and I would become very close over the next few weeks.

Carolyn helped me up and eventually, I made it to the bathroom, but not without pain and frustration. I confess that the level of pain was astronomical and nothing seemed to work to curb it.  There were moments when I thought that there was something severely wrong, but was reassured by my transplant team and my wife that what I was experiencing was normal; I had just had major, major surgery and it would take a while to get back to the "new normal."  

I've had occupational therapy, physical therapy, and have tried to stay as active as I could as the pain subsides and affords me the opportunity for mobility.  I've even overdone it a couple times only to be set back a couple days in terms of progress as a result.  But with each passing day, I could see and feel myself getting stronger and able to walk without the aid of a walker.  

There have been some emotional sticky places as well.  They usually take place when pain is almost unbearable and my frustration hits the roof.  I admit that I questioned why I had received the miracle of a second chance when clearly, I wasn't up to the task.  Somehow, I've made it through thus far.  I've continued to fight and push towards the goal of being self-sufficient completely.  My kids were at the hospital with me and spent a great deal of time with me but now, the routine is back in play and I don't get to see them; particularly Heather and Matt who live out of state.  My youngest two are working and schedules are a bugger.  Makes it a little tough, but thank God for FaceTime.  

I have some friends who have been unbelievable through this process and they deserve a shout-out to say the least.  Steven and Jen Jones have been there by my side at the hospital and have been regular visitors to the Gorilla's Cave since I came home.  Jen underwent a double lung transplant a couple years ago so, we're kindred spirits of sorts.  Many of the things I experience now, she once did as well.  They have been a blessing beyond measure and I can't adequately describe how much it means to me.

Even my sisters-in-law flew up from California to be here with me, to make sure I don't do anything stupid and to ensure I stay on target and on track.  Debbie and Sandy are two truly remarkable women who have been selfless and caring to a goofball like me.

To all of you who have sent your prayers and well-wishes my direction, and those who have paid me a visit, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and your kindness.

Now, the battle rages on.

Ron "Gorilla" Black

Monday, May 14, 2018

Part 2: Post Transplant Weirdness

Dr. Kohli, one of my surgeons.
When I was wheeled into the operating room, the last visual was that of my family and friends, all cheering me on and hopeful that all would be good.  I admitted to everyone there that I was scared beyond description; no room for pride or shame at that point.  They understood and were very encouraging.  The last thing I remember about the operating room was being transferred to the table and the anesthesiologist telling me that he was injecting the anesthesia into my IV.

I have a great deal to be thankful for.  My family, the surgeons, and all of the doctors involved in my transplant.  They are amazing people with incredible God-given talent and they saved my life.  

The next series of events are a blur because I was pretty heavily medicated and it was tough to distinguish between what was real and what was imagined.  I do remember waking up with a respirator, a catheter, and some weird tube thing that went down into my stomach.  I was a bit panicked because for a few moments, I couldn't remember why I was there.  I also remember a 7' tall, German woman named "Hilda" standing at the foot of my bed laughing and making jokes with me about my health and circumstances.

It was bizarre.

Apparently, I tried to take out the respirator but the nurse stopped me and at one point, I made the decision to follow my wife into the hallway of ICU and succeeded in ripping out an IV.  I don't remember it at all, but I do remember the blood stains all over the sheets and my blanket.  I was told later that they had to restrain me because I was being, well, bull-headed and determined to get out of the bed.  I was also informed that I wouldn't believe them when they told me that I had made it through transplant surgery.  I didn't believe that I had received a transplant so quickly and that I had survived.

When I began to gather my wits to some degree, I realized that I had actually received a transplant and that the events of the previous days were not imagined, but real.  The hallucinations stemmed from the fact that I was loaded with steroids from the procedure and the different types of pain medications contributed to my confusion.  Yes, I was confused and bewildered.  At times, I felt like I was in a video game like MW3 and trying to identify spies and enemy infiltrators.

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

The staff at Integris are phenomenal.  The ICU is intense and the nurses are exceedingly professional and business-like without losing a personal touch.  The nurses and staff on the floor I was transferred to (7 East) were like angels.  They explained what had happened, what to expect, and the plans for my eventual discharge.  They fully explained the milestones that needed to be reached, they were responsive to my questions and concerns and I have to tell you, they made me feel as though I was in good hands.  And I was.

My wife was a champ; overseeing the madness that had ensued and scheduling folks to come stay with me (I wasn't supposed to be alone) and make sure I didn't fall or anything.  She stayed on top of the medication questions, she developed a plan for after-care, and she is nothing short of phenomenal.  I am blessed beyond measure to have such a wonderful human being in my life.  She has been able to juggle her work, my issues, and keeping everyone on track and she does so gladly.  She is a giving spirit, a kind soul of which you don't meet every day and I'm proud and humbled that she is my wife.

My kids were all there except for my oldest who plans to come out to visit within the next couple months.  It was a revelatory experience and each day brings new insight and a different perspective on life itself.

Of course, I will share those with you too.

Until next time...

Ron "Gorilla" Black

Monday, May 07, 2018

The Impossible Became Possible

I went to the hospital for a routine procedure that was to take a couple hours.  It was late in the afternoon and I remember the beige decor of the room as I headed out on the hospital bed.  Once in the procedure room, the doctors moved quickly; like a well-oiled machine.  Next thing I know, I'm out like a light.

What was to be a 2-hour procedure took much longer and it was evident that something had gone wrong.  I was informed that the procedure had complications and that I had bled profusely, requiring 8 units of blood.  The doctors had been on the phone with my wife who was on her way and informed her that I might not make it.  She informed them she was 15 minutes out and the doctor told her that I might not make it that long.

I made it.

My liver had been in far worse condition than we anticipated and the aggregate result was that I was put on the transplant list immediately.  My skin color had begun to change, my eyes were yellowing as what was left of my liver was trying desperately to function.  The doctors informed my wife, my family, and me that I would be staying in the hospital until aa transplant would take place.  What normally takes months was going to be attempted within a few days.

The impossible was about to become a reality.

The first liver offer didn't come through because the liver wasn't a fit.  Disappointed, I figured that it would be days before another would come through.  Literally, within hours, two more offers for livers come forth and while the second didn't work out, the third did.  

I was wheeled down to the area outside of the operating room, surrounded by family and friends as they cheered me on.  An impromptu chant of, "Clear eyes, full heart, can't lose" came forth and made the nurses laugh.  The last thing I remember about the operating room was that it was very white and clean.  

When I woke up, the room was completely different.  Rather than the beige curtains and decor, it was crimson.  For a moment, I thought that I had been transferred to OU hospital or something.  Tubes ran in and out of me, helping me to breathe, to get rid of waste, and to keep stuff out of my stomach.  It was a shocking experience.  When I was informed that I had a transplant, I didn't believe it and was sure that everyone was lying to me.  The meds were working hardcore.

I was in the intensive care unit, by the way.  I was in good hands. The whole staff on the transplant team are amazing people.  Kind and caring, I can't imagine a more prepared team.

There's a lot more to the story and I plan to share it with you over the next few days.  I want you to walk away from this piece is that the impossible became possible for me and it can for you too.  I didn't know if I believed in miracles in the sense that regular guys like me can be touched by the Almighty, but today, I do.  How everything took place, the timeline, the availability of transplant donors, and the miraculous way how an unquestionably difficult surgery was completed were all evidence of the presence and mercy of the Creator.  

More to follow.

Ron "Gorilla" Black