I Do, But I Don't

I Do, But I Don't

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Another Week of Shenanigans

Some of the dialog you're about to read may be offensive to some and it may anger many of you and for that, I'm not sorry.  You see, Oklahoma is a fun state with fun people and an underground creativity that exists behind the scenes for fear of being labeled "liberal."  Oklahoma is home to the Cowboys and the Sooners and both are exquisite institutions of higher learning or something.  But this past week, it was as though meth was poured into the water system by the Trilateral Commission under the orders of the New World Order and pushed by the 9/11 Commission.   

In other words, what you're about to read about is true, but you'll wish that it was not.

1.  Edmond Public Schools Superintendent called Edmond schools one of the "poorest funded" in the state.  In an interview with the ever-lovely Abigail Ogle, Bret Towne kissed a final farewell to his mind and to his reputation for trying to play Edmond Public Schools as a poor and down-trodden district.  Anyone with three functioning brain cells in the state of Oklahoma knows that Edmond has great schools in great shape and that the taxpayers always support initiatives on the ballot to support their schools.  As a matter of fact, when was the last time ANY sales tax increase or continuation failed in Edmond?  

2.  Candidate Filings.  This week brought a bunch of new faces to the political arena and some where decidedly more refreshing than others.  We in Oklahoma had, of course, the usual suspects of career politicians but we also saw the faces of numerous teachers who are fed up with the way the legislature has proven their collectively low IQ by screwing up school funding.  We have also seen the exciting entrance for the County Clerk post that is inhabited by the now legendary DUI recipient, Carolyn Caudill.  Charlie Phillips entered the race and while a veteran of the Clerk's office, she is a small business owner with backbone.  Personally, hers will be the race to watch during this primary season.  She's funny, smart, approachable and will serve the people of Oklahoma County well.  

3.  No Gorilla In the Race.  No, I've decided not to run this cycle for House District 82, but there is a very good chance that I will be running in the next cycle.  I probably could've beaten the incumbent Representative like an old rug and done so with ease and with impunity, but this is going to be a busy and very life-changing year for me.  I won't go into any details right now, but I will soon enough.  For all of you who have extended a hand of support for my potential run, I thank you and for those who support my candidacy and have expressed their desire to help financially were I to run against Calvey, I can't tell you enough you're appreciated.  There'll be a race to be sure, but just not this one at this time.  I know I'll catch hell from some of my close friends for not running; particularly after I had already put together a campaign platform and strategy, but surely, one of you will understand.  Calvey needs to go away from the public eye and I have a feeling that when he runs for either Attorney General or Oklahoma County District Attorney, he'll get the pounding he deserves. 

4.  Increased Taxes.  Unlike some of my readers, I happen to like the Governor.  When I saw that the Governor was thinking about raising taxes on tobacco for the purpose of filling so-called holes in the budget, I admittedly found myself a little disappointed.  Increasing taxes is not what we need and we particularly don't need to raise taxes on the poorest among us either.  It's hard for some to realize the difficulty faced by those in poverty while living in gated communities.  Remember all of those employees who have been laid off because of the down turn in the oil and gas market?  Well, they are the ones who will be taxed more and frankly, it's a bad idea.  As I have said before, there are ways to raise revenue for the state without further burdening the taxpayers.  

5.  Morrissette for Corporation Commission?  I have no beef with lawyers, really.  A lot of people hate them until they need them and some of them are admittedly sketchy.  Others, however, are solid, hard-working, and dedicated to the profession of law...until something better comes along.  Morrissette is a nice enough guy and has a good relationship with Scott Mitchell (consultant/talk show host on KOKC), but he had decided that since he has been term limited in the House, it's time to "move on up" like George and Weezie and run for statewide office.  From my knowledge, he has no oil and gas experience but the trial lawyer clan wants to defeat Dana Murphy because of the stand on the earthquake lawsuits.  They will probably throw a ton of cash his way, but it won't do any good.  Dana Murphy is one of the best Corporation Commissioners we've ever had and I was privileged to help her get that post. 

Well, there you have it, friends.  Yet another week of goofiness and as election day gets closer, it's going to only get more zany.

Until next time...those are my opinions and are for educational and humorous purposes only.  So now you can't sue me.


Gorilla


Monday, April 11, 2016

Solutions to Wad Panties

State revenue is down which means that state agencies will be feeling a pinch.  It's what happens.  The liberals are blaming Republicans for tax breaks for the state's bread-and-butter industries; oil and gas.  The Republicans are blaming "100 years of mismanagement" rather than taking responsibility for the fact that the mess we're in is an equal opportunity destroyer and that politicians of every breed are to blame.  Republicans and Democrats alike are culpable for the place we're in right now because for both parties, the only solution is to raise taxes.  

Liberals want to raise taxes on the rich.

Conservatives want to raise taxes on the poor.

The bovine fecal matter stacks up so high in the Oklahoma legislature that you need wings to rise above it and largely, it's the career politicians who are left holding the bag.  Their greed and desire for power has overruled any common sense they may have possessed at a time in the past and it will never return.

With all of that taken into consideration, I have some budgetary solutions that will work to more effectively use state tax dollars and to rein in the madness under the methane gas-filled dome.  These solutions are going to piss off some people and those are the people we should vote out of office with impunity.  They are the problem, not the solution.

1.  Reduce Legislative Pay:  Pay for all state legislators and their assistants, envoys, project managers and the like should all be cut in half.  If you don't think they are overpaid, consider these little positions for the State Senate alone:

Randy Dowell        Chief of Staff      $128,947   Been there since 1997
Jonathon Nichols    Legal Council     $120,138  Been there since 2000
Caroline Dennis      Dir. of Ops        $120,128  Been there since 1982
Trait Thompson       Capital Proj. Mgr.  $86,957.

Those are JUST a few.  You see very familiar names when you go through the list of Senate payroll recipients like; Trait Thompson, Jonathan Nichols, Sharon Veazey, Claire Mcatee, or Nancy Pellow.  You got to see this madness.  I mean it.   The State Senate and staff should take a 50% pay cut and the position should remain at that specific salary.  Period.  It's amazing how much money is being slung around to and for our elected legislators.  

Here are more for you to review.  Bring a barf bag.

Corporation Commission (Note the total salary number.)
Boll Weevil Eradication Organization  (Yes, it really exists.) 
Department of Corrections (Your butt will pucker.)
Department of Tourism (The salaries are completely out of control here.)

2.  County Official Pay Reduction:  Like the legislators and their staff, County elected officials should receive pay that is commensurate to the average median income of their respective counties.  Makes sense, doesn't it?  Their pay should NOT be based on how much money is in the county, but rather the average income of the citizens therein.  This alone will save millions of dollars a year and when you take into consideration the number of staff members they have, when the same formula is applied, the savings to the taxpayers within that county will be astronomical.

3.  Statewide Elected Officials:  This is really a no-brainer.  Take the average median income of the state of Oklahoma and that will be their base pay.  They would be entitled to travel pay when on state business throughout the state, but beyond that, their pay should be capped as should their staff members'.

You can see how these three suggestions/solutions would create a huge problem from some elected officials so I implore you to ask your elected officials whether or not they would support a proposal such as what I have here.  If they say no, they are NOT citizen/legislators but rather are bottom-feeding blood-suckers.

Spread the word.  People need to know.


"Gorilla"
 



Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Owning It

They went to a baseball game together on that warm, damp night.  It was to be yet another in a long string of "date nights" where the lovely couple could enjoy festivities as they did before they married.  The humidity hung in the air with the same heaviness as the anticipation they felt for the evening and as they found their seats, they took in the lights, the atmosphere, and the energy of the field.  

The couple was very attractive and it wasn't unusual for either of them to receive longing or flirtatious glances from the opposite sex.  They had made it a bit of a game; a game that would determine which of the two would be the designated driver for the next outing.  Unfortunately, the humidity coupled with the fact that neither of them had eaten earlier in the day made each adult beverage they consumed more intense and before long, the concept of a designated driver went by the way side.  

He drove them home and didn't react quickly enough to the deer leaping onto the highway in front of the vehicle and his reaction sent the vehicle into a ravine.  They survived the ordeal, however, neither would ever walk again and their hopes of children and a "normal" family life disappeared before their very eyes.  The guilt and anger over his mistake drove him to commit suicide a few months later and his loving wife was left all alone.

This story illustrates how one person's bad decision can become a decision with consequences that ripple throughout time and space as we know it.  The wife will be forever transformed physically as well as emotionally; forced to face her condition alone and without the love of her life.  He didn't "own" his mistake for one reason or another and the aggregate result was tragedy heaped upon tragedy.  No one made it out unscathed and as a matter of fact, it was infinitely worse than he imagined it could be.

Every day of our lives we make decisions that, while they may not be life or death, cause ripples in the cosmos and certainly impact those around us.  Speaking for myself, I've made so many mistakes that I've actually written a book about my mistakes and how not to commit them.  I own them all; they are all mine and no one else is responsible.  I've been at the bottom of the barrel and I've been at the top of the heap and none of it equals the joy of just "being" in the here and the now.

I'm not one to hide behind anything, nor have I ever been; I don't hide behind a religious facade though I am a Christian (a lousy one at that, see Romans 3), I didn't join the military service because it was something that would help me in a run for office but it was a childhood dream fulfilled, and I don't hide behind the facade of righteousness as so many involved in politics do with impunity today.  I can't.  I'm far too flawed.  Too many of us wear masks to hide who we are and present a visage of who we are not, but who we wish we could be or whom we desire TO be.

I'm an imperfect human being and I own that 100%.  

You will fail your spouse, you will fail your partner, you will fail your children, and you will even fail your pets, but failing is only the beginning of the human experience.  Once we fail, we can start over and change how we do things so as to have a positive outcome that benefits everyone.  If you're one of the cats running for office right now and you're doing it to stroke your  ego or to cover up your mistakes, you're lying to yourself and to everyone who even considers casting a vote for you.  Hit yourself in the head with a sledgehammer because you're of no use to the rest of us. 

Life is easier when we own who we are and what we've done in our past and what we're doing right now.  I know a few people who are scampering about right now waiting until filing day to see what kind of opposition they will face and they do so at their own peril.  We have to live in the here and now and own where we are and what we may or may not face in the future.  It's all dust in the wind anyway, isn't it?

Of course, this has been just my opinion and I could be wrong but I seriously doubt it.


Gorilla


Thursday, March 31, 2016

Carolyn Caudill Makes DUI Laws Look Silly

In Oklahoma, if you get a DUI, you're pretty much screwed for a while.  You're going to pay a hefty fine, you're going to probably spend the night in jail, you're going to fight to keep your license (which is unlikely), and it will be on your criminal record for a very, very long time.

This is, of course, unless you are an elected County official who works in a building just across the alley from where the judge who handles your case will be hanging out.

According to a shocking story on NewsOk.com, Carolyn Caudill's attorney W. Shawn Jefferson (wonder what the "W" stands for and from his Facebook page, you can see something about the running of the bulls) filed a motion to have Caudill's records of her DUI arrest sealed, expunged, cast into the sea of forgetfulness just in time for her to run again for Oklahoma County Clerk.  This election would giver her a sixth term.  A sixth term.  That's right, a sixth term in  office.  Take a look at this little morsel from NewsOk.com and see if it doesn't
make your blood boil:
In a petition to the Oklahoma County District Court "for expungement and sealing of records," attorney W. Shawn Jefferson states she is eligible under state law to ask that the case records be removed from public view and sealed.

Jefferson wrote that the harm to Caudill's "privacy and/or the dangers of unwarranted adverse consequences … outweigh the public interest in retaining the records."

Jefferson is asking that the Oklahoma City Municipal Court and departments including the Oklahoma City police be directed to seal records related to the incident.

In the petition, he also requests an order "mandating that the subject official actions shall be deemed never to have occurred."
You need to check out her lawyer here and here

No, it isn't a clipping from a Lost Ogle satire, but it is real and what the attorney is asking.  Caudill could be in danger?  Danger?  The only danger would be her getting busted again and being beaten in the primary by Charlie Phillips.

Adverse consequences?  Wait...should would have to pay like every other citizen?  Heaven forbid.  The real adverse issue I am sure that she's worried about is having her rear-end handed to her in the primary by Charlie Phillips.

The people are once again being boondoggled, bamboozled, blinded, and fooled with the ultimate in trickery bred from the loins of long-term, career politicians.  Caudill should be ashamed of herself and just retire with some sense of dignity left.  If you haven't decided whom you will vote for in this GOP primary, I suggest you vote for a real Republican who understands (and can spell) transparency; Charlie Phillips.  

My support is behind Charlie Phillips and for good reasons; she is a small business owner, she has ten years of experience in the Clerk's office, and she has been nothing but candid with me.  It's refreshing to talk to someone running for office who isn't a narcissistic, egomaniac with the personality of a Barbie or Ken doll.  Charlie is the real deal for Oklahoma County Clerk.  

Of course, this is just my opinion and I could be wrong, but a intensely doubt it.

Gorilla