I Do, But I Don't

I Do, But I Don't

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Cretins in the Mist

Nobody likes vandals.  Nobody likes to see the damage that vandals do on a regular basis.  But when it comes to political vandalism, it is an indicator that there truly is trouble in River City.  

I've written about Charlie Phillips previously in her bid to rehabilitate the staggering Oklahoma County Clerk's office and a few things have changed since our last correspondence.  Charlie has been doing all of the right things that politicians should do; parades, presenting her position, knocking doors, putting up signage, and meeting with future constituents.  Apparently, she has done a great job because politically-blind cretins have attacked her numerous signs and your lowly Gorilla has a few ideas as to why this is happening.

First, I am convinced that whomever recently sawed Charlie Phillips' billboard in quarters is a person who probably needs to have face time with a mental health professional.  For the reasons below, the type of individual or individuals who have defaced and destroyed her signs are a danger to our city and our county and should be dealt with according.

Charlie Phillips
Second, we often try to destroy what we fear.  Whomever defaced and destroyed her signs are afraid that now Charlie is the front runner and they need to reduce her name recognition by any means necessary; even if it means destroying private property.

Third, Charlie's opponents or opponents' supporters have committed a crime, but because it is a political set of signs, law enforcement might be reticent to get involved.  If they did and found out who was responsible, the news would probably rock the county at its core.

Fourth, political insiders often find it funny to destroy their opponents' signage.  That's right, there are those who are greatly amused by taking or destroying political signs.  It's sad, but during the election cycle, the cretins are easily awakened and they always find something with which to amuse themselves.

It's true that I've done work for Charlie and that I unashamedly support her for County Clerk.  If you recall my days on WKY, I was always critical of the incumbent and while there was another host who supported her because of his "regular employment," I never budged for even a second.  I haven't changed my mind and for those of you who know how greatly I despise the little oligarchy of elected officials in county government, it shouldn't be a surprise to you that I support Charlie Phillips for County Clerk.

Oh, and some of the signs that were vandalized yesterday were vandalized again today.  Bless their little pea-picking hearts.

Some of you reading this may consider defacing or destroying political signage to be no big deal or merely something to be expected in politics.  That's how bad things have gotten in politics when we expect bad stuff to happen.   However, I also say that you're part of the problem with the political process.  If you think it's funny, cute, sly, or even "the right thing to do" to vandalize the property of others, do us all a favor and don't breed.  

Of course, this is just my opinion and I could be wrong, but I'm not.


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

What Did You Expect?

To lighten the mood a bit, I've decided to take tidbits from the news and from social media and ask one of the most profound questions in all of history:  What did you expect?  These are morsels of truth that no one really likes to swallow but are as necessary for survival as oxygen; and we need to laugh at and with ourselves once in a while.  

Journalist Who Profiled Melania Trump Files Police Report After Getting Threats:  What did this journalist expect?  She pulls no punches in a story about the wife of a bombastic and incendiary POTUS candidate and she gets threats.  This should be under the "profound grasp of the obvious" file because there is no doubt she knew (Julia Ioffe) that it was inviting trouble.  You can't jump into a pit of vipers and then bitch about the fact that your dumb little butt got bit.  I'm not saying that threats are a good thing and neither am I justifying them.  I'm just saying that when you're in the media and you stir up some poop, you have to expect to get some poop on you yourself.  

Raising Taxes to Solve Revenue Problem:  Our legislature in Oklahoma as well as the Governor herself have considered that one way to solve the "problem" of an income crisis is to raise taxes on citizens, but to leave in place countless incentives for the richest among us.  For example, the Thunder organization is not required to pay payroll taxes on their massive payroll.  This benefits the multi-million dollar players and the millionaire owners, but doesn't do a damned thing for the average working Joe in Oklahoma.  Yes, I know that the Thunder has become a sacred cow in Oklahoma City, but the truth is what it is.  They receive a ridiculous incentive that they just don't need.  Yet, it is not just limited to the Thunder, but rather extends to the rich and famous in Oklahoma.  Instead, they are planning to raise taxes on cigarettes (again) because Medicaid needs the money and they want to toss some by way of the education infrastructure.  But what did we expect when we elected this particularly raw group of narcissists?  We knew that it was fame and fortune for them and for most of them in office, it's the best job they will ever have.  What did we expect, really?

American Ninja Warrior at the Capitol:  ANW is filming in Oklahoma and they are filming in the parking lot of the methane gas filled dome.  Seriously?  What did we expect?  It's the perfect location for horseplay such as that.

Axl Rose Singing for AC/DC:  The response has been tepid at best where the Guns-N-Roses front man heading up AC/DC is concerned and really, we shouldn't be surprised.  Live performances when Rose was in his prime were always a crap-shoot, and now that he is forced to sit on a throne because of a broken leg and screech out what we thought were AC/DC tunes, he sounds like a cat that needs to be put down with impunity.   

Hillary Targets Female Voters, Attacking Trump's Standing With Women:  Hillary has most meat-eating conservatives on the right chomping at the bit to see her in jail and most of the Hillary-haters are men so, it should not be a surprise at all when we see Hillary trying to cuddle up to the female voters in the attempt to make Trump look like a big meanie who hates girls.  Trump doesn't have the greatest family values record, to be sure, and admittedly, neither do I.  But there are a ton of Americans who have grown tired of the chest-thumping of the dominionists who want to run the country (and state) like a theocracy.  They want efficacy and a no-holds barred approach to problem solving; not a bunch of hand-wringing bed-wetters who are strong only on religious issues, but are sissies where issues of Constitutional import are concerned.  It was predicted that this would be the way she would steer her strategy.

These were just a few issues and problems that were just too funny not to mention and do so with a sense of humor.  We live in wickedly weird times, my friends and it's only going to get more strange.

Of course, these are just my not-so-humble opinions and I could be wrong.  But, no.  I'm not.


Monday, May 09, 2016

HLK Bombshell Review

Hard Luck Kings is a small manufacturer of custom guitars in California and have been known for their ability to make what they call "tour ready" guitars that are sturdy, inexpensive, and sound great.  When they put their "Bombshell" guitar on special, I had to have one and the price was absolutely right.  I thought that this would be the deal of a lifetime.

I was wrong.

Pictured right is their website and there is a lovely picture of the guitar I purchased.  The matte green and black just made for a badass looking guitar and after listening to some reviews and samplings on YouTube for that model, I was sold.  The "Tour Ready Gear" advertisement was a bonus because most guitars require a ridiculous amount of adjustment before they are ready to gig.

I couldn't tell you how excited I was when it arrived.  I opened the shipping box and made sure that everything was there and after the satisfactory inventory, I pulled it out of the box, plugged it in and tuned it.  The first thing I noticed was that it was a sonofabitch to keep in tune.  I attributed it at first to new strings but after a few hours of tuning, playing, tuning, playing, and tuning again, I could tell that something was wrong.  

The finish was as nice as they said it would be but there were blemishes on the head stock and on the body.  The plastic cover on the pick guard was trashed and it was obvious that this guitar had to be a return because it had clearly been played hard.  For the price, I thought that it was still going to work out okay regardless.

The next thing was the buzzing of the strings all over the fingerboard.  This meant that a truss rod adjustment was in order and after the adjustments, the buzzing was reduced a bit.  The next problem was the intonation itself and that became a serious issue.

At the 12th fret, the strings were almost a half step sharp with all of the strings so, again, my trusty tools were busted out and adjustments were made on the bridge itself and then, more of the truss rod adjustment.  After contacting customer service and then watching countless videos about the problem, I came as close as I possibly could to fixing the problem, but it will always be an issue to some degree because of how the guitar is made/put together.

The last problem I had was when I noticed that the nut was uneven in string position.  The low E and A strings were higher than the others.  I replaced the strings with lighter gauge strings (which I did not want to do), it was still a problem but when I was tuning, the notch for the low E just busted clean off of the nut.  

Of course, weeks had passed and therefore I had gone beyond the "return policy" so it looks like I am going to have to have another nut set on the neck and ignore the rest of the problems or just never ever play live with it ever.  

The neck feels and felt great, but the pickups aren't "hot" as advertised and in addition, I was not prepared for the amount of noise they generate.  Some noise is to be expected with a single coil setup, but this sounded like a cheap tape recorder microphone was used for the pickups rather than something with even marginal quality.  In all fairness, the bridge pickup isn't bad; it just isn't great.

So, what is the Gorilla's recommendation with regard Hard Luck Kings?

Always remember that you get what you pay for and rarely will you find discounted music gear being a good value.  This was the case with my Hard Luck Kings Bombshell.  If you want to try your luck with Hard Luck Kings, I recommend you do so with a note on your calendar for the return policy and stay within those parameters.  I've seen people who are amazingly satisfied with their HLK gear, but I wasn't one of them.  "Tour Ready" doesn't necessarily mean "gig ready" in my opinion.  Perhaps what they mean is that you can use these guitars on tour as a distraction for would-be thieves to steal them rather than your real live gear.  

Many have had great experiences with HLK and I applaud them for that.  I'm sure that they purchased gear that was not on sale or were simply fortunate wherein I was not so fortunate. 

Conversely, I went out to Shawnee to Music Unlimited and picked up a Jackson on sale for the same price and guess what?  It is spot on.  They adjusted it before I left and it has been one hell of a work horse from day one.  The staff and ownership at Music Unlimited were all really helpful and they were happy to see folks from outside of Shawnee come down to visit.  They have a great selection of Fender, Jackson, PRS, and other brands that you expect to see at another, larger store.  It's a great place to make purchases.  Highly recommended.

Of course, these were all my personal experiences and opinions and I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt it.


Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Another Week of Shenanigans

Some of the dialog you're about to read may be offensive to some and it may anger many of you and for that, I'm not sorry.  You see, Oklahoma is a fun state with fun people and an underground creativity that exists behind the scenes for fear of being labeled "liberal."  Oklahoma is home to the Cowboys and the Sooners and both are exquisite institutions of higher learning or something.  But this past week, it was as though meth was poured into the water system by the Trilateral Commission under the orders of the New World Order and pushed by the 9/11 Commission.   

In other words, what you're about to read about is true, but you'll wish that it was not.

1.  Edmond Public Schools Superintendent called Edmond schools one of the "poorest funded" in the state.  In an interview with the ever-lovely Abigail Ogle, Bret Towne kissed a final farewell to his mind and to his reputation for trying to play Edmond Public Schools as a poor and down-trodden district.  Anyone with three functioning brain cells in the state of Oklahoma knows that Edmond has great schools in great shape and that the taxpayers always support initiatives on the ballot to support their schools.  As a matter of fact, when was the last time ANY sales tax increase or continuation failed in Edmond?  

2.  Candidate Filings.  This week brought a bunch of new faces to the political arena and some where decidedly more refreshing than others.  We in Oklahoma had, of course, the usual suspects of career politicians but we also saw the faces of numerous teachers who are fed up with the way the legislature has proven their collectively low IQ by screwing up school funding.  We have also seen the exciting entrance for the County Clerk post that is inhabited by the now legendary DUI recipient, Carolyn Caudill.  Charlie Phillips entered the race and while a veteran of the Clerk's office, she is a small business owner with backbone.  Personally, hers will be the race to watch during this primary season.  She's funny, smart, approachable and will serve the people of Oklahoma County well.  

3.  No Gorilla In the Race.  No, I've decided not to run this cycle for House District 82, but there is a very good chance that I will be running in the next cycle.  I probably could've beaten the incumbent Representative like an old rug and done so with ease and with impunity, but this is going to be a busy and very life-changing year for me.  I won't go into any details right now, but I will soon enough.  For all of you who have extended a hand of support for my potential run, I thank you and for those who support my candidacy and have expressed their desire to help financially were I to run against Calvey, I can't tell you enough you're appreciated.  There'll be a race to be sure, but just not this one at this time.  I know I'll catch hell from some of my close friends for not running; particularly after I had already put together a campaign platform and strategy, but surely, one of you will understand.  Calvey needs to go away from the public eye and I have a feeling that when he runs for either Attorney General or Oklahoma County District Attorney, he'll get the pounding he deserves. 

4.  Increased Taxes.  Unlike some of my readers, I happen to like the Governor.  When I saw that the Governor was thinking about raising taxes on tobacco for the purpose of filling so-called holes in the budget, I admittedly found myself a little disappointed.  Increasing taxes is not what we need and we particularly don't need to raise taxes on the poorest among us either.  It's hard for some to realize the difficulty faced by those in poverty while living in gated communities.  Remember all of those employees who have been laid off because of the down turn in the oil and gas market?  Well, they are the ones who will be taxed more and frankly, it's a bad idea.  As I have said before, there are ways to raise revenue for the state without further burdening the taxpayers.  

5.  Morrissette for Corporation Commission?  I have no beef with lawyers, really.  A lot of people hate them until they need them and some of them are admittedly sketchy.  Others, however, are solid, hard-working, and dedicated to the profession of law...until something better comes along.  Morrissette is a nice enough guy and has a good relationship with Scott Mitchell (consultant/talk show host on KOKC), but he had decided that since he has been term limited in the House, it's time to "move on up" like George and Weezie and run for statewide office.  From my knowledge, he has no oil and gas experience but the trial lawyer clan wants to defeat Dana Murphy because of the stand on the earthquake lawsuits.  They will probably throw a ton of cash his way, but it won't do any good.  Dana Murphy is one of the best Corporation Commissioners we've ever had and I was privileged to help her get that post. 

Well, there you have it, friends.  Yet another week of goofiness and as election day gets closer, it's going to only get more zany.

Until next time...those are my opinions and are for educational and humorous purposes only.  So now you can't sue me.