I Do, But I Don't

I Do, But I Don't

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Something About Jari

Not one, not two but three attack ads against Lt. Governor Jari Askins from the RGA.  Three from the Republican Governor's Association, one from the Fallin campaign itself.  These things aren't arbitrary - there is a reason for the onslaught of these ads.

There's just something about Jari.

But what is it?  What is it about Jari Askins that has the Fallin campaign and the RGA so determined to knock Jari down a peg or two?  So far, the attacks have been a little misleading - as in the first RGA ad.  The Tulsa World and the Oklahoman alike (as did the majority on a few online polls) agreed that it was a ridiculous attack ad with little or no merit whatsoever.  But what was the response?  More attacks from the RGA and Fallin campaign.

So, I leave it to you...ask yourself, "Why?"  Is Jari Askins that well-liked in Oklahoma that there has to be attacks to lessen her favorable ratings?  Why is the Fallin machine afraid of Jari Askins? 

Mary Fallin spent $1.9 million to defeat State Senator Randy Brogdon.  How much will she and her supporters spend to defeat a legitimate statewide candidate?  Or rather, how much will they HAVE to spend?

You make the call.

Friday, September 17, 2010

POW/MIA Day & Constitution Day

I believe it to be more than appropriate that today is POW/MIA Recognition Day AND Constitution Day in this great country.  Men and women have raised a right hand, sworn an oath to defend the Constitution and many gave all so we could have these freedoms.  The oath means something, it has depth and transcends fraternal associations.  Here is the oath I took:
I (Name) do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God. I swear (or affirm) that I am fully aware and fully understand the conditions under which I am enlisting.
In many ways, our country has failed our veterans and their families.  They are morbidly underpaid (at least enlisted men and women are), their families forgotten and our missing in action get only compulsory recognition once a year.

Hell, there are candidates for public office bellowing right now about the Constitution, but have said nothing about the men and women who are or have been prisoners of war or have been classified as missing in action.  But we shouldn't be surprised...most politicians are narcissistic sociopaths who spend more time in front of a mirror in a week than most of us do in a lifetime.

Today, let's all take a moment to remember our POW/MIA military and civilians who have given all - and let us not forget their families.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Fallin v Askins: The Rumble is ON

Today, the Fallin for Governor campaign launched a new salvo on the Web with not one but two ads.  The first being a positive, "fight Washington" ad that shows Mary smiling and happy.  But the second is, well, aggressive as hell. 

Here is the link to the ad itself.


All the photographs you've seen of these two posing together, smiling and pretending like they actually like each other must have been horribly misleading because the haymakers are coming full stride. 

The fight is ON.

Mary's New Ad - The Pink Elephant In the Room

Mary Fallin has a new ad entitled "Stand Up."  In the ad (below), Mary talks about her willingness to "fight Washington" as Governor.  There are questions, however, that the ad simply begs.  Every molecule in the universe cries out for an answer to one very simple, yet critical question that is the big pink elephant in the room:

Mary, if you couldn't fight Washington as an insider and serving as a damned Congresswoman, what makes you think we believe you can or will here as Governor? 

There, I asked it.  Mary Fallin didn't fight anyone in Washington, except to fight for an autograph from the President...but I digress. 

The ad is brilliant, actually.  It doesn't say a doggone thing about the actual role of governor in the great state of Oklahoma and what Mary would actually be charged with AS governor.  It pleasantly avoids the fact that Oklahoma has one of the weakest governors in the country and it is so by design.  We let the legislature screw things up, not the governor.

Here's the ad.  Let me know your thoughts.




Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I'm With Jari

I have no clue what they ever did to us and why the RGA and Republicans in general are so upset with Jari Askins.  It seems like everytime you turn around, someone is designing a new hit/attack ad to slam Jari Askins about her support for this or her lack of support for that.  Personally, I agree with Jari Askins...

I support the Dreamsicle Act.

I don't know what it is or how it works, but Dreamsicles are delicious and a critical part of American history and culture.  There are differences between Creamsicles and Dreamsicles, but to me, they need to simply get along.  The Dreamsicle has the same sherbet shell as the Creamsicle, but the iced milk inside the Dreamsicle is clearly more healthy for all Oklahomans.

And in particular, Oklahoma children.

We need to get behind Jari Askins and her fight against the horrible attacks coming from special interests across this nation.  Join me and Jari in supporting the Dreamsicle Act.

Whatever the hell it is.

10 Reasons To Stay Away From The Polls November 2nd

Blogger Steve Fair has published "10 Reasons Why Conservatives Should Not Vote For Jari Askins," and it is very well thought out, very well researched and without a doubt, exceptionally partisan.  Which is pretty much what we have come to expect these days anyway.  It's all about the party for some but for me, as stated previously, it's about the hotness

So, for those of you who are tired of the same old rhetoric and talking points as to why you should or should not vote for one candidate over another, I've decided to compile my list of reasons we should just stay away from the polling places altogether and let the chips fall where they may.

10.  Grumpy Polling Volunteers.  I don't know how the election board does it, but somehow they are able to round up the most angry, pissed off and generally grumpy geriatric volunteers to check our name on their handy little list, toss us our little voting sheet and spew forth a round of instructions.  Where they find these troglodytes is anyone's guess but more than likely, recruiting takes place at the DMV - and not just from behind the counter either.  If we want abuse, we can just as easily sit home and watch American Idol Rewind and hear the melodious tones of Simon Cowell barking at wanna-be superstars.  We don't need the ghosts of Archie Bunker telling us we're douchebags if we forget our "I Voted" sticker.

9.  Hunting Season.  Deer archery season begins October 1 and goes through January 2011 and if you have archery hunted in Oklahoma during the beginning of the season, you know it's pretty hard work.  I would suggest you go on vacation beginning October 1, set up camp and wait for the big buck to come by your treestand.  About the time blackpowder season begins, you'll have at least seen a big buck or two and not had to worry about number 10, above.

8.  Partisan Poop.  At this stage of the game, anyone voting in Oklahoma should come to realize that Democrats in Oklahoma are infinitely more conservative than most of the Republican presidential nominees we've seen in the last few years.  Anyone who believes W was a true conservative probably can't even spell the word "conservative" and has kissed a final farewell to their minds shortly after Ronald Reagan died.  By the time November 2nd rolls around, you'll hear the words "liberal" and "conservative" tossed around like a salad at Souper Salad but with far less care and the excrement you'll have to wade through on television and what is left of talk radio will make you long for the elephant stalls at the Oklahoma City Zoo.  If you want to wade through poop, come by my house and I'll let you meet my Rottweiller, Cletus, and he can show you some poop.

7.  It Is Not The End Of the World.  Contrary to what Rush, Sean, Keith, Rachel, Glenn and Oprah have told you, November 3rd is not the date set for the end of humanity as we know it.  Granted, it is tempting to live in the bus buried in the back yard after listening to 15 minutes of Glenn Beck's program wherein he informs us that God is really, really pissed off that the country elected Obama as president, but it just isn't the case.   Equally difficult is listening to Sean Hannity (who thinks he IS God) tell us that he was/is right about everything ranging from the correct temperature of brownies to the fate of the IRS - but as Sean would say, "let not your heart be troubled," because while politicos are running around kissing each other on the mouth about how brilliant their candidates are, God is busy going about saving the eternal souls of those who are created in His image. 

6.  Newt Gingrich.  The fact that we somehow allowed this guy to be Speaker of the House at any time in human history should be enough to teach us that our decision-making power at the polling places are woefully lacking.

5.  Jimmy Carter.  Much like Newt, Carter was an example of everything that is wrong with the system, the way we elect leaders.  Some of us still remember the lines at gasoline stations...

4.  Absentee Voting.  Each state has rules and regulations pertaining to absentee/early voting and Oklahoma is included.  Rather than dealing with the barbarians at the polling gates, we can fill out our little voting cards and ship them to the election board wherein they will get lost, be used as toilet paper or even be utilized as art forms at the Oklahoma History Museum.  For the rich and famous living in gated communities, you need not miss your golf vacation in Florida the first week of November, you simply follow the instructions and mail in your ballot.  For the not-so-rich-and-famous, you won't have to lose your place in line at the DMV.  

3.  Mary, Todd & Ken Won't Be There.  Sorry, kids, but none of the Bold and Beautiful will be at the polling place awaiting your arrival and no, they won't be signing autographs either.  And you're not allowed to bring your Sarah Palin blow-up doll either. 

2.  Liquor Stores Open.  Liquor stores are now open in Oklahoma on election day.  Think about it - would you rather be surrounded by vintage bottles of chardonnay, merlot and pinot or would you rather be surrounded by vintage men and women whose ire is surpassed only by the scent of medicated rubs?  Exactly.

And the number one reason you should not go to the polls November 2nd....

1.  It Just Doesn't Matter.  We are polishing the brass on the Titanic, kids.  We gave Democrats control of the House and Senate and they screwed it up.  Then, we gave Republicans control of the House, the Senate and the Oval Office and they screwed it up.  At the end of the day, we get all excited about this party or that party and their myriad of "solutions" to problems they themselves have created.  We show up to the polls, draw the little line for this "conservative" or that "liberal" only to find out a few months later that they have all been manufactured at the same plant by the same people who are feeding us the same line of crap, but packaging their candidates differently - and they and their consultants gather at the Wormy Dog for drinks and an after-party at our expense.  We've been hoodwinked, we've been bamboozled and we seem to like it that way.

Enjoy!  Of course, this was largely satire...if you don't "get it," please, for the love of God don't go to the polls ever and don't breed.  Thank you for your service to our community.

Told Ya. It's about the HOT.

Christine O'Donnell.  She won.  She's hot.  Enough said.











I'm excited too, Christine. 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Mary Needs Help

RGA launches a salvo against Jari Askins that pretty much everyone believed was a pile of steaming horse manure, Jari responds quickly and decisively, encouraging Congresswoman Mary Fallin to tell the RGA to pound sand and throws a little jab about the TARP bailout. 

Now, Mary Fallin needs help in combating the response to the RGA ad.  From Mary's Campaign Manager:

Dear Friend,
It didn't take long for our opponent to launch her first attack against Mary. As soon as someone started asking tough questions about her statements and votes on illegal immigration, Jari Askins attempted to change the subject by launching an attack on Mary.
And on top of her attack, she's now claiming to be a conservative! A conservative doesn't oppose tax cuts, vote against "concealed carry" or refuse to take a stand against the big-government takeover of health care. All of which Jari Askins has done.
We need your help TODAY to fight back! Click here to support Mary with a donation to our campaign so we can go on the air with our campaign ads ASAP!
Our opponent has spent her millions trying to win elected office in Oklahoma. And she's at it again with her first attack against Mary. Please help us respond to this attack by giving to our campaign TODAY!


Thanks for all you do!


Sincerely,

Denise Northrup
Campaign Manager
I had no idea Jari opposed "concealed carry."  Fascinating what you learn from emails and press releases.

Conservative Hotness Wins

Time for some brutal honesty here, my friends.  Conservative candidates are going to be the rage in November and again in 2012 because they are better looking than their opponents.  It doesn't really matter whether or not they can be considered intelligent, able to grasp the real issues facing this country, nor does it matter whether or not they have the ability to complete one or two coherent sentences.  They are hotter and hotness always wins.  The breaks are out, no point in steering.  If we're going down like the Titanic, we might as well have something pretty to look at on the way down...

Lest we forget, John McCain was clearly a more qualified candidate for President, but B-Rock Obama's charm and what some considered to be good looks won the day.  McCain's running mate, Palin, is hotness personified but she wasn't at the top of the ticket and we want the hotness on top in this country.

Even here in Oklahoma, no one would argue that Randy Brogdon was somehow lacking in intellect nor in his grasp of Constitutional issues.  Mary was just hotter.  She wears skirts everywhere she goes, she has a pretty face, a warm and welcoming smile...Randy just looked pissed off.  The hotness quotient overcame Randy and there was no looking back.  It's part of the Oklahoma "vayues."

Now, we look to Delaware where the Tea Party candidate is giving the Republican establishment candidate fits.  Christine O'Donnell is a conservative Tea Party candidate who has championed the cause of hardcore conservatism and a social conservative message that tickles the fancy of the religious community and her smile and attractive features appeal to the rest of the Delaware GOP electorate.  She is much hotter than her opponent - which goes without saying - and he knows it.  The GOP establishment is intensely pissed off about the fact that a candidate with some real experience may be beaten by a hottie who has difficulty putting thoughts together without cue cards.  In Delaware, real experience matters to the GOP.  Not so much in Oklahoma...but I digress.  Christine is adorable, though, and would make a great running mate for Sarah Palin in 2012. 

Speaking of Sarah...she has been endorsing candidates, appearing at $250/per person events with radio/television host Glenn Beck and doing as many Fox News interviews as humanly possible.  Why?  Duh.  She is gearing up for her run for President in 2012 and I, for one, will vote for her in a heartbeat.  I realize that she's not exactly America's brain-trust, but as I mentioned previously, real qualifications for office don't mean squat these days and the electorate are tired of "real issues" anyway.  Never before in the history of this great country have we had a potential candidate for the Oval Office who has legs that could rival Angelina Jolie (yes, I used Palin and Jolie in the same paragraph).  Sarah is approachable, which adds to the hotness factor because in our twisted minds, men tend to relate approachability to opportunity.  She hunts (hot).  She isn't a member of Mensa (hot - see statement on "opportunity").  And she isn't really afraid to speak her mind about what she perceives as evil in the world - red meat for the John Birchers.  And she's from Alaska - the last frontier of the Americas and you know she's rugged and it's cold there, so she probably likes to snuggle.  Who wouldn't want to do some snuggling with Sarah?  I mean, really.  Sarah is, by far, the most attractive person in the Republican Party and it will make her the nominee.  I mean, think about it...Romney is handsome and has a hotness quotient, but he is too polished and that scares us.  Newt is losing his mind and reports are that he doesn't even believe his own hype and Republicans haven't completely checked out intellectually just yet on a national level.  I want Palin/O'Donnell on the ticket in 2012.

Now, we turn to Oklahoma where the hotness factor applies in state races, not Congressional races.  Take the Bold and Beautiful of the statewide races, for example.  Ken Miller and Todd Lamb are polished, handsome and could easily be on the cover of Political GQ Magazine.  They have warm smiles, look good in photographs and have surrounded themselves with hotties in their campaigns as well.  They are the new, the fresh, the young and the attractive of the Oklahoma GOP.  In a debate with his rival Kenneth Corn, Lamb could easily respond to every question with a smile, a wink and say, "Yeah, but I look gooood," and women in the audience would swoon.  Much the same for Ken Miller who has similar charm.  Ken doesn't even really have an opponent - his good looks scared off even Scott Meacham from running for re-election.  Meacham probably came to the realization that the hotness factor would pimp-slap him come November.  It scared him so much that the long time Democrat came out and actually endorsed Miller.  Now that is hotness personified. 

So, that's my take on how the hotness factor comes into play this November and again in 2012.

Enjoy. 

Note:  There was some sarcasm included in the above blog entry...so, don't take it (or yourself) too seriously.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Prediction: Lankford Sails

Bottom line:  Oklahoma will elect its first ever Baptist Church Camp Program Director as a Congressman.  Coyle is an attorney and a Democrat and even the Blue Dogs will have a tough time getting behind giving the Democrats another seat in the House.

Dave White, former Navy SEAL and former Republican, announced today that he is supporting James Lankford - and that will help with some of the veteran's votes and will probably take some of the veterans away from Coyle, who is a Marine.

We live in strange times, friends.

Lankford came out of nowhere and no one planned for his meteoric rise to fame in the GOP.  No one.  He brings to the table enormous support from the Baptist community in Oklahoma and those resources have proven to be invaluable. 

But hey.  Looks like the Sooners and Cowboys both are going to have stellar seasons.

Dave White Endorses Lankford

At a joint press conference at the GOP headquarters, former Indpendent candidate for Congress Dave White pulled out and endorsed Republican James Lankford and may even do some public appearances on behalf of James.

White plans to switch his registration back to Republican.