I Do, But I Don't

I Do, But I Don't

Friday, February 27, 2015

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Folks in Oklahoma, Texas, and Arizona don't really care much for snow.  It reminds them, I suppose, that winter is here to stay, forcing thoughts of flip flops and shorts out of the mind.  But there is a peace, a quiet solitude that comes with the snowy weather - even vehicles on the road have their sounds muffled, quieted as though they are paying homage to the fluffy white substance falling from the sky.  It's in those moments of quiet that we have an opportunity to reflect, do some navel-gazing and get to know ourselves a little better.

Or, we can hide from it.

I find the snow falling to be hypnotic.  I'm not really sure why or how it happens, but there is a sense of the divine in how the trees are covered, how the fields are coated, or how the moisture fills the air.  For me, there is a presence of the divine that is unmistakable, encompassing the totality of my being.  I know that sounds a little New Age-y, but there really is nothing like it.

I can recall when I was an avid hunter that I would sit in the blind, or the tree stand watching and waiting.  I have to confess that there were a couple times when deer came by and I let them go just so I could watch them playing or trotting around in the snow.  Hogs, on the other hand never made it - they are just hideous critters and ham is so delicious...  But anyway, the tree stand became a little sanctuary out in the middle of nowhere.  I'm not much of a praying guy, but I remember having plenty of conversations with the Creator when sitting in one of those stands.  It just seemed pure, undefiled.

I can understand, however, why my friends in Oklahoma despise the snow.  It is a complete turn-around what we experience in the summer, and the contrast is dramatically stark.  Driving in the snow here in Oklahoma is difficult too because it's ridiculously obvious that the Oklahoma Department of Transportation is about as screwed up as Congress.  To their credit, the County Commissioners and city governments have it under control - as least in Oklahoma County.

We run across stuff we despise on a regular basis, and more often than not, that thing that makes us want to bite someone's face was put there to show us that yes, it makes us want to bite faces - it forces us to examine ourselves and dig deep for the root cause of such anger and ire.  Well, it does if we want it to.  Sometimes, if feels good to wallow in the anger and rage - even though it's not the right answer.

For me, the solitude can be a scary damned place to be.  I don't really like much of who I am and what I've become, but I own it all.  My failures, my shortcomings, my sins if you will, are all on me and no one else.  That's what the snow can bring to us - that necessary solitude that requires everything and nothing of us.  Introspection sucks, but it's days like this when the pain is worth it.

Of course, I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt it.


Gorilla