I Do, But I Don't

I Do, But I Don't

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Layers of the Onion

I like onions.  I like them grilled, fried and baked in meatloaf.  One thing about onions; the closer you get to the center, the stronger it gets.

Some who have followed ronblackradio.com and my Facebook page know full well some of the interesting drama that has ensued over the last couple weeks and with each passing day, the revelations and depth of understanding has been increasingly powerful and like the onion, stronger and more pungent an odor as we get to the bottom of some of the issues swirling around the two girls who now call our home their home.

On one hand, we have a 13 year-old girl who has never really had the opportunity apparently to just be a kid.  Spend merely 10 minutes with her and you realize that this young lady has a very "old soul" and has had to witness and endure difficulty more troubling than someone twice her age.  You can see in her eyes pain of not only losing her mother a few short weeks ago, but something else darker, more sinister and with each passing day, she is becoming more and more comfortable in sharing with us what she has faced.  And it really, really pisses me off. 

On the other hand, there is a bright, smiling little 7 year-old who seems to be completely oblivious to the magnitude of her loss.  She is opening up more, sharing what she has seen and experienced but there is a kind of "above it all" look in her eyes that hints at what she really knows, but is not yet at a place to put all the pieces together.

And then there's the whole "blended family thing" where my kids and Shawnnessy's kids are getting to know one another and developing boundaries and working amongst themselves to develop a sort of pecking order.  Interestingly enough, they are all alpha-personalities so it makes it rather entertaining to watch.

Earplugs are often a necessity.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I'll share more with you about the wackiness, the triumphs and some of the tears shed regarding this new familial dynamic in which we find ourselves.  Brace yourselves...it's going to be a challenge.

Gorilla