Owning It

They went to a baseball game together on that warm, damp night.  It was to be yet another in a long string of "date nights" where the lovely couple could enjoy festivities as they did before they married.  The humidity hung in the air with the same heaviness as the anticipation they felt for the evening and as they found their seats, they took in the lights, the atmosphere, and the energy of the field.  

The couple was very attractive and it wasn't unusual for either of them to receive longing or flirtatious glances from the opposite sex.  They had made it a bit of a game; a game that would determine which of the two would be the designated driver for the next outing.  Unfortunately, the humidity coupled with the fact that neither of them had eaten earlier in the day made each adult beverage they consumed more intense and before long, the concept of a designated driver went by the way side.  

He drove them home and didn't react quickly enough to the deer leaping onto the highway in front of the vehicle and his reaction sent the vehicle into a ravine.  They survived the ordeal, however, neither would ever walk again and their hopes of children and a "normal" family life disappeared before their very eyes.  The guilt and anger over his mistake drove him to commit suicide a few months later and his loving wife was left all alone.

This story illustrates how one person's bad decision can become a decision with consequences that ripple throughout time and space as we know it.  The wife will be forever transformed physically as well as emotionally; forced to face her condition alone and without the love of her life.  He didn't "own" his mistake for one reason or another and the aggregate result was tragedy heaped upon tragedy.  No one made it out unscathed and as a matter of fact, it was infinitely worse than he imagined it could be.

Every day of our lives we make decisions that, while they may not be life or death, cause ripples in the cosmos and certainly impact those around us.  Speaking for myself, I've made so many mistakes that I've actually written a book about my mistakes and how not to commit them.  I own them all; they are all mine and no one else is responsible.  I've been at the bottom of the barrel and I've been at the top of the heap and none of it equals the joy of just "being" in the here and the now.

I'm not one to hide behind anything, nor have I ever been; I don't hide behind a religious facade though I am a Christian (a lousy one at that, see Romans 3), I didn't join the military service because it was something that would help me in a run for office but it was a childhood dream fulfilled, and I don't hide behind the facade of righteousness as so many involved in politics do with impunity today.  I can't.  I'm far too flawed.  Too many of us wear masks to hide who we are and present a visage of who we are not, but who we wish we could be or whom we desire TO be.

I'm an imperfect human being and I own that 100%.  

You will fail your spouse, you will fail your partner, you will fail your children, and you will even fail your pets, but failing is only the beginning of the human experience.  Once we fail, we can start over and change how we do things so as to have a positive outcome that benefits everyone.  If you're one of the cats running for office right now and you're doing it to stroke your  ego or to cover up your mistakes, you're lying to yourself and to everyone who even considers casting a vote for you.  Hit yourself in the head with a sledgehammer because you're of no use to the rest of us. 

Life is easier when we own who we are and what we've done in our past and what we're doing right now.  I know a few people who are scampering about right now waiting until filing day to see what kind of opposition they will face and they do so at their own peril.  We have to live in the here and now and own where we are and what we may or may not face in the future.  It's all dust in the wind anyway, isn't it?

Of course, this has been just my opinion and I could be wrong but I seriously doubt it.


Gorilla

It's Never Easy

He saw his life begin to crumble, to fall apart all around him and the internal and external pain was unbearable.  His friends gave the standard, "cheer up" advice because, after all, people suffering from depression always respond well to that type of feedback.  He had found himself rather isolated because people don't want to be around others who are less than perky - it's as though some people believe depression is contagious.  At first, the solitude was refreshing and seemed to cut out the background noise of life.  The problem with solitude is that every second of every minute of every hour of every day, it forced him to see himself for what he had become.  The voices in his mind eventually became so rambunctious that he couldn't resist.  

By the time they found him, he had already been gone for three days.  His hell hounds had finally caught up with him and devoured him.  There were many who said that they cared for him, admired him, but these were the same people who couldn't handle his illnesses.  Not surprisingly, it took only a few short weeks for everyone to forget him.  

This story isn't unusual.  It is never easy dealing with individuals who have become a victim of depression, and if you're that person, it's even harder to explain away, or mask that depression.  The illness opens the door for bad behavior that hurts a lot of people through the course of time and slowly but surely the guilt and shame finally takes over and the descent into madness begins.

Constant physical pain often turns into emotional pain, which then presents itself behaviorally.  Everyone suffers and experiences pain differently.  Some have a very high threshold for pain where as others don't and the madness comes much more quickly for them.  For the depressed individual, it's a long road to normalcy, and it is a road that he/she has to travel - but shouldn't do it alone.

There are plenty of websites available that can help with identifying signs and symptoms of depression, so that's not what this blog is about.

It's important to understand that when a person suffers from depression, the first human response is for that person to do their level best to mask or hide the depression.  There does come a time when a man who has lived a less than exemplary life can no longer handle to guilt and shame - these are the

people who are most at risk, in my opinion.  The piling on and accumulation of physical pain, mental pain, and a lack of passion creates a short fuse that once it's lit, the end is inevitable.  And of course, there are those in his/her life whom he/she has wronged who feel the need to extract their pound of flesh as quickly and violently as possible. These are understandable, and probably more than deserved.  But it's not going to help matters.

Living with depression or other mental illnesses are never easy.  But yet, they can be lived with and managed - particularly the mental health issues that stem from a chemical imbalance because there are a myriad of medications available to combat them.  There are group therapy sessions, there are one on one therapy sessions, and even exercise that can help to combat depression.  But nothing seems to work as well as that one person who loves and cares for him/her and is willing to love unconditionally.

I could be wrong, and often am, but I don't think so.

Gorilla