Solutions to Wad Panties

State revenue is down which means that state agencies will be feeling a pinch.  It's what happens.  The liberals are blaming Republicans for tax breaks for the state's bread-and-butter industries; oil and gas.  The Republicans are blaming "100 years of mismanagement" rather than taking responsibility for the fact that the mess we're in is an equal opportunity destroyer and that politicians of every breed are to blame.  Republicans and Democrats alike are culpable for the place we're in right now because for both parties, the only solution is to raise taxes.  

Liberals want to raise taxes on the rich.

Conservatives want to raise taxes on the poor.

The bovine fecal matter stacks up so high in the Oklahoma legislature that you need wings to rise above it and largely, it's the career politicians who are left holding the bag.  Their greed and desire for power has overruled any common sense they may have possessed at a time in the past and it will never return.

With all of that taken into consideration, I have some budgetary solutions that will work to more effectively use state tax dollars and to rein in the madness under the methane gas-filled dome.  These solutions are going to piss off some people and those are the people we should vote out of office with impunity.  They are the problem, not the solution.

1.  Reduce Legislative Pay:  Pay for all state legislators and their assistants, envoys, project managers and the like should all be cut in half.  If you don't think they are overpaid, consider these little positions for the State Senate alone:

Randy Dowell        Chief of Staff      $128,947   Been there since 1997

Jonathon Nichols    Legal Council     $120,138  Been there since 2000

Caroline Dennis      Dir. of Ops        $120,128  Been there since 1982

Trait Thompson       Capital Proj. Mgr.  $86,957.

Those are JUST a few.  You see very familiar names when you go through the list of Senate payroll recipients like; Trait Thompson, Jonathan Nichols, Sharon Veazey, Claire Mcatee, or Nancy Pellow.  You got to see this madness.  I mean it.   The State Senate and staff should take a 50% pay cut and the position should remain at that specific salary.  Period.  It's amazing how much money is being slung around to and for our elected legislators.  

Here are more for you to review.  Bring a barf bag.

Attorney General

Corporation Commission (Note the total salary number.)

Boll Weevil Eradication Organization  (Yes, it really exists.) 

Department of Corrections (Your butt will pucker.)

Department of Tourism (The salaries are completely out of control here.)

State Treasurer

Department of  Veterans Affairs

2.  County Official Pay Reduction:  Like the legislators and their staff, County elected officials should receive pay that is commensurate to the average median income of their respective counties.  Makes sense, doesn't it?  Their pay should NOT be based on how much money is in the county, but rather the average income of the citizens therein.  This alone will save millions of dollars a year and when you take into consideration the number of staff members they have, when the same formula is applied, the savings to the taxpayers within that county will be astronomical.

3.  Statewide Elected Officials:  This is really a no-brainer.  Take the average median income of the state of Oklahoma and that will be their base pay.  They would be entitled to travel pay when on state business throughout the state, but beyond that, their pay should be capped as should their staff members'.

You can see how these three suggestions/solutions would create a huge problem from some elected officials so I implore you to ask your elected officials whether or not they would support a proposal such as what I have here.  If they say no, they are NOT citizen/legislators but rather are bottom-feeding blood-suckers.

Spread the word.  People need to know.

"Gorilla"

 

Why So Serious?

I got an email from a friend who asked me about the tenor, the content of my last few blog entries and why I had become so serious.  He noticed that I still had a sense of humor, but the topics had been heavy and in his words, made him "want to hide in a closet."  Well, dang.  That wasn't really my intention at all, but rather to look at issues that are, in my mind, rather controversial and even hypocritical at times. 

There is a lot to be serious about, but there's also a lot of material out there that makes us want to laugh our asses off at the same time.  Even the topics that are very serious on the surface, contain little laughs and some piddle-worthy giggles.  Take politics, for example.  Some of the issues the state of Oklahoma is facing can be alarming, but what's tragically hilarious is the response we get from legislators.  Here's a couple giggle-worthy moments:

The perpetual candidate.

1.  Calvey and Crain's "Loser Pays" Legislation.  At first, I thought this was a satirical piece in The Onion, but then I realized that this is the real deal.  The energy sector (the big boys) in Oklahoma needs more protection, wouldn't you agree?  Those pesky farmers and ranchers who would like clean, fresh water are just a thorn in the side of the big energy players in Oklahoma.  The OIPA (Oklahoma Independent Petroleum Association) supposedly helped with the legislation - shocker (shame on you, AJ)!  This is funny shit because even a baboon with 50 functioning brain cells can see that Calvey is sucking up to the money boys so he can fund another campaign, but this time, for the D.A. slot.  Just watch, and join me in laughing our silly little butts off when Calvey announces his candidacy.  And by the way, wasn't he term-limited before and why in the hell is he back in the State House?

2.  Presidential Pabulum.  They are off and running, and many of the names behind the scenes of Presidential candidates are names that we have all become used to hearing in the public arena.  Think about this - it's truly funny.  The same old dick bags are advising new dick bags on the same topics that the last dick bags ran on, and they think we're stupid enough to fall for it.  Wait.  I guess we are.  The oligarchy is alive and well in Presidential politics and frankly, I think the American people are sick of it but nothing is going to happen about.  The irony about the "change" argument versus the fact that we keep going down the same path as before is downright comical.  Screw it.  I'm thinking Dean Winchester should run for President - at least he could deal with the demons in Congress.

3.  Fracking Earthquakes.  Okay...get this.  The scientific community is pretty much in agreement that the cause of all these weird earthquakes in Oklahoma is...wait for it...fracking.  Is there anything being done about it?  Is there anything being done about the waste water from fracking?  Hell no.  That's where it gets bloody funny.  It's like watching a bully pick on some nerdy little kid and then the government stepping in and actually paying the bully to be a bully.  Tell me that's not funny!  Oil and gas companies are seeing legislators in Oklahoma offering free lap dances in return for campaign finance, and the bullies are getting tax breaks as a result!  Like a hooker paying a John for having sex with him/her.  The irony is so rich and thick in this case, it could be considered molasses.   Damage to water supplies, homes and property getting rattled and ripped apart, and the aggregate result is that insurance companies don't always cover the cost of repairs because of these earthquakes.  It' silliness.

Some of these circumstances are so bizarre that there is little else to do but to laugh.  It's pure goofiness and We The People love every minute of it.  Politics has become such a disgusting mess, a filthy place where the socially inept and sociopaths congregate to think of ways to justify their existence by authoring unconstitutional, useless legislation that is nothing more than regulatory masturbation. 

Come on.  It's funny and you know it.

Here's to the rest of the week, and y'all be safe and aware out there.

Gorilla