I Do, But I Don't

I Do, But I Don't

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

August 24th - Much More Than A Runoff

My mother would have been 65 today, but she died of cancer at the at of 33 over thirty years ago and days like today make it seem like yesterday.  I was 14, on the downhill slide to the ripe old age of 15, when she died and as I look back at my life thus far, I can see how the loss at such an impressionable age has impacted my decisions and some of the choices I have made.  Some good, some horrific.

I don't blame her death for my bad behavior and the silly things I've done, but there is no doubt that the loss has greatly influenced who I am - rather, the loss and how I dealt with that loss has greatly influenced who I am.

Today is also the runoff election.  The two GOP candidates have spent the last week giving us just what we've come to expect from runoff elections in Oklahoma.  A bunch of he said/she said garbage that at the end of the day leaves the voters less educated about the candidates and how they would deal with the important issues facing Oklahomans right now. 

If my mother were still alive, she would have been ashamed of "both those boys."

I am still befuddled as to whom I will vote for as I enter the polling place for this runoff, but I am darned sure whom I will vote for in November.

Woke up this morning and mom was the first thing on my mind today.  How she would have taken me to the woodshed countless times over the past thirty years, how she was truly a rock in my life - a consistent source of love and admonishment when I needed it most (but often when I liked it least).  She had an amazing way of letting slide the things that truly didn't matter much, but accentuating the issues of importance in a way that drove home the underlying truth and reality of the situation.

I guess it's a "mom" thing. 

She's missed and will be until I get to meet her on the other side.  In the meantime, we have some voting to do, I suppose.